ReBuilding Blye
by canaussie
Summary: A series of one shots written as a sequel to Broken Blye. Will not make much sense if read on its own. Chapters not in chronological order.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you know why Hetty wants us to come in?" Kensi asked Deeks, feeling nervous. She had seen Callen and Sam occasionally, and Eric And Nell were still by daily, but Hetty had been giving her space. She knew Kensi had yet to go out since being discharged from hospital two weeks ago, but had requested that she and Deeks come in this afternoon.

"No, I'm sorry, I don't." He told her. "If you aren't up for it, I can call and tell her we can't." He suggested.

"Deeks, this is Hetty. She told us, she didn't ask. I don't think we can just refuse." Kensi said nervously.

"I know. But if you aren't up for it, we don't go. I'll stand up to anyone for you." He insisted.

"it's ok... I can do this, I think... But can you give me a hand getting dressed? And I'll help you with your shirt." Kensi told him.

* * *

They were a few minutes late, but they successfully made it to OSP without any major incidents. Callen and Sam are in the bullpen and greeted Kensi with a welcoming grin and a hug.

"It's great to see you up and moving." Sam told her.

"Yeah.. Thanks." Kensi replied still feeling apprehensive. "Do you know where Hetty is?" She asked.

"Ms. Blye, Mr. Deeks, it is good to see you." Hetty said as she approached on cue. "Would you please join me in my office?" Kensi and Deeks nodded and followed her, with Deeks offering his good arm to assist Kensi with the step up. They nervously took a seat as Hetty took hers behind the desk.

"Is everything ok?" Deeks asked.

"Of course Mr. Deeks, why would it not be?" She replied. Deeks opened his mouth to reply. It then closed it again, thinking better of it. When Hetty was satisfied that he wasn't going to ask anything further, she continued. "I had hoped for these to arrive sooner, but they are here and that is the important thing." She said as she placed a wooden box on the table. "I am more than aware of the mistake I made before, and I realise that knives, in particular your father's knife, may pose a problem for you at the moment, Ms. Blye. So for that reason, these will be kept in the armoury until you are ready." She explained as she gently pushed the box towards Kensi. "Mr. Deeks, would you please open the box?" She asked, and he did as requested. Kensi gasped and her hands flew up to cover her mouth when she saw what lay in the box. She reached out to touch the box, and turned it slightly so that Deeks could see the contents.

"Mr. Deeks, I believe you may remember my friend, Tuhon. Ms. Blye, he was a close friend of your father, and he is the one who crafted his knife. As soon as I was aware that it was the instrument used during your attack, I had concerns about how you would feel about it. I contacted Tuhon to tell him I had need of a new knife for you that would hopefully carry sentimental meaning and be functional. He has enclosed a letter for the two of you to read with an explanation, as well as the two knives you see. He insisted that partners such as yourselves should have matching weapons, so that there is no longer the need for you to share one." Hetty explained. Deek was the first to reach out and pick up his knife, noting his name in the handle.

"The wood used for the handle is from the same tree as that used in your father's knife. Tuhon will not reveal the story behind that particular piece of wood but insisted it was relevant. The blade is an exact replica as well. And I believe you will find the inscription the same." She said, as Kensi turned over the knife to reveal "Blye" on the handle.

"While it is not your father's knife, it is quite similar and was made by his friend. He also asked me to give you this." Hetty continued, handing Kensi a small box. She opened it to find a small keychain locket, only 1" in size. She opened it to find a picture of her father and herself, taken when she was eight. She grasped it in her hand and held it close as several tears trickled down her face.

"Thank you. And please thank Tuhon as well." Kensi said. Deeks placed his knife back in the box beside Kensi's and put his hand on her shoulder.

"I will give the two of you a moment." Hetty said, standing up to leave. She shook her head at Callen and Sam, warning them to leave the pair alone. Nell and Eric were watching from the stairs, but also kept back to give Kensi space.

A few minutes later, Kensi stood up and Deeks helped her step down. She smiled gratefully at Hetty, who nodded.

"I will place the box in your locker in the armoury for now. Of course, you may take the other gift and the letter with you now." She said, handing the letter to Deeks. "I know it was not easy for you to come in today but I do appreciate it. I wanted you to have this as soon as possible, and to know you would have a new weapon upon your return." She continued. Kensi nodded and thanked her again. She waved at Eric and Nell, said a quick good bye to Callen and Sam, and followed Deeks back to the car. They could read the letter from Tuhon when they got home.


	2. Ten days post discharge

**Ten days post hospital discharge**.

Kensi had woken up in a good mood and feeling motivated. She wanted to start piecing her life back together, and found herself missing some of her things. She talked with Nell, who said she completely understood. While Kensi had initially wanted to go herself, after standing at the door for forty five minutes, unable to bring herself to actually open it, she retreated to Deeks' room. Nell had waited patiently, busying herself with her tablet while she had waited for Kensi to be ready to go. Seeing her friend retreat after trying so hard broke her heart. She picked up the list Kensi had discarded in her rush back to the security of Deeks' bed.

* * *

When Deeks and Eric returned from surfing, both in a great mood and chatting excitedly. They stopped suddenly when they saw Nell looking dejected and no sign of Kensi.

"Everything ok?" Eric asked.

"Yeah. Kensi wanted a few things from home so we were going to go pick them up, but she couldn't bring herself to open the door. She just went and hid in Deeks' room without saying anything," Nell explained, gesturing to the closed door with the hand holding Kensi's list. "Every time she starts doing better something happens. I wish there was some way to help her with this one."

"Why don't we swing by her place and get the stuff on her list?" Eric suggested.

"Yeah, I was going to. But I'm not sure how she would feel about us in her apartment... Or going through her stuff," Nell replied.

"I'll go talk to her," Deeks said, heading for his room.

He returned a few minutes later.

"She's asleep," he said with a shrug. "Nell, why don't you and I go grab the stuff on the list. It won't take long and we should be back before she gets up." Nell nodded in agreement and grabbed her keys.

"You'll be ok to stay with her Eric?" Nell asked.

"Yeah, we'll be fine. You guys will be what, an hour? And we've got a full fridge. It'll be fine," Eric said. Deeks grinned.

"You're fully Kensi trained. If all else fails, Twinkies," Deeks replied. "We'll be back soon."

Deeks didn't argue with Nell when she grabbed the keys, and found himself surprised. The ride to Kensi's place was short, and he took the few minutes to read over the list Nell had handed him. Mostly, she wanted particular items of clothing she was missing, as well as a few odds and ends. The only thing on the list that had him hesitant was her request for her razor. His place was still kept free of sharp objects, although he understood her desire to shave.

He followed Nell to the door and watched her pull out the key. It struck him as odd, again, but he knew the locks had been changed as soon as the investigation began. They stepped inside, and both inhaled sharply. Yes, it had only been two weeks since the attack, but the realisation quickly set in that even with all the happy memories Deeks had in this home, all he could see now was signs of her attack. Nell put her hand on his arm and squeezed to let him know that she got it.

"So where should we start?" she asked quietly, gesturing at the list.

"I guess most of her clothes will be in her room. Or maybe the laundry," Deeks began. "Can you grab her mug from the kitchen? It should be beside the sink. And she wants her orange basil body wash from the bathroom," he told her. "I'll get the clothes." Nell nodded, and watched as he paused and then forced himself to enter her room. She knew that the blood had been removed and the house had been cleaned, but that didn't mean it would be any easier for Deeks to enter the room where he had found his partner bound and bleeding. He hesitated before going in, but entered the room and went straight to her dresser. Nell turned and found the requested mug and then headed to the bathroom to find Kensi's body wash.

Deeks had found most of the requested clothing and was sifting through the laundry pile when Nell's phone rang. She answered and quickly stepped into another room in hopes she could deal with the matter without further stressing Deeks. Unfortunately, that would not be the case.

* * *

Kensi woke from a nightmare, screaming. Eric rushed in when he heard her screams, but was overwhelmed when she quickly pinned him to the bed. Unlike his colleagues, he did not have the urge to fight and quickly let himself go limp as Kensi continued to yell at him, keeping him pinned to the bed. After several minutes, she dropped back and burst into tears, freeing Eric. At that point he was torn between trying to comfort her and getting away from her as quickly as possible. Instead he grabbed his phone and called Nell, retreating from the bedroom and leaving Kensi curled up sobbing. He felt awful and was nearly in tears himself as he explained what was going on to Nell. Unsure what else to do, she told Eric to switch to speaker phone and she handed her phone to Deeks as they rushed to head back to Kensi and Eric.

Eric did as Nell ordered and switched the phone over to speaker mode before knocking quietly and slipping into the room. His guard was still up from earlier, but he placed his phone on the bed beside Kensi, who seemed oblivious to his presence. A moment later, Deeks' voice came through the phone, trying to get Kensi's attention and calm her. Eric stayed by the door in case he was needed, but stood far enough back that Kensi would have her privacy. He felt completely out of his depth. Yes, he had joked that all it took to handle Kensi was some sweets, but in reality he was able to do nothing for her when she needed him.

Eric listened as Deeks reminded her she was safe, and she wasn't alone. He reassured he was on his way back, telling her every intersection as Nell rushed through it. Kensi continued to cry, but it did seem her tears were slowing and she was no longer choking on every breath. After ten solid minutes of Deeks' calming voice, she had mostly stopped crying. Not even knowing why, Eric stepped towards her and was shocked when she suddenly reached out and hugged him. Her head rested on his shoulder, as her tears soaked into his shirt. Having no idea what to do, he settled for stroking her back and letting Deeks do the talking.

When she looked up at him he was afraid she would freak out when she realised he wasn't Deeks, but she didn't. Instead she looked up at him with tear filled eyes and kept mumbling, "I'm sorry." That was the moment he cracked, and a tear ran down his cheek as well.

"Kensi, there's nothing for you to be sorry for. I just want you to be ok. That's all we want for you," he whispered. Neither noticed that Deeks had stopped talking. Moments later, Nell and Deeks ran into the room to find Kensi wrapped in Eric's arms, with both of their faces streaked with tears. It wasn't until Nell coughed that they looked up. Kensi quickly let go and pulled back, apologising to everyone and leaving Eric sitting awkwardly. Deeks sat next to her and stroked her hair, then scooped her into his lap so Eric could get up.

Nell motioned for Eric to follow her out of the room, which he did. Before she could say anything he found himself apologising over and over until Nell put her hand over his mouth.

"Beale, snap out of it. You did everything right. I'm sorry we left you alone with Kensi when neither of you were ready. Now go park your butt on that chair so I can check you over and make sure you aren't injured," she ordered. Eric blushed and did as he was told.

Nell thoroughly checked him over and declared him free of all injury aside from some bruising to his arms where Kensi had pinned him. She offered him ice, which he declined.

"It really isn't that bad. I was just scared for Kensi. I mean, I know she could have done serious damage but that wasn't even what I was thinking about. I was just panicking because I couldn't help her and she obviously needed help." He began to ramble until Nell once again cut him off.

"You did the right thing, and Kensi is ok. You seemed to have managed just fine without us. She didn't even notice when the call was dropped, and the two of you were fine when we got home," she reminded him. "Now are you ready to go? We're going to be late for work."

* * *

 _Author Note - ha, I'll confuse you by putting my note at the bottom for a change! I'm looking for co writers who are familiar with the format of The Amazing Race. If you're interested, PM me._

 _I seem to have a wealth of story ideas but I'm lacking time to write and motivation at times. Apologies to those waiting impatiently and thanks to those keeping me going._

 _This chapter is for xoxMountainGirlxox who has been patiently waiting for months._


	3. 18 months later

18 months post attack

It was as ordinary as a day off could get. Eric and Deeks had gone surfing that morning while Kensi slept in. Deeks brought home breakfast, and woke her with a gentle kiss before showering, and then they sat down to eat together. They discussed what to do with a rare day off, and decided that a day of shopping was in order. So they found themselves at the mall food court after making several purchases. Deeks wanted something healthy and Kensi didn't, so they split up for just a few moments while Deeks waited for his salad and Kensi searched out the donuts.

While she was waiting in line, someone walked past wearing too much cologne. This wasn't unheard of in LA, but rarely was it worse than mildly unpleasant. Today, however, it was. The moment the scent hit her, Kensi's heart began to race and her throat began to close up. Her vision swam and her head spun, and a moment later she dropped to the ground. She was lost in the most intense flashback she'd had in over a year, and she was alone.

The commotion drew Deeks' attention and the cop in him ran to see what was going on. When he saw his girlfriend lying on the ground gasping for breath, and eyes open but unseeing, he pushed everyone out of his way and dropped to his knees at her side. He wasn't even aware of the fact that he was barking orders, telling people to stand back to give her space. He checked her pulse and found it soaring, and she was choking on every breath. The moment he recognised what was happening he dove for her purse and prayed that she still carried the tiny orange pills that Lindsey had given her ages ago. Fortunately, they were there. He popped one out of the tiny envelope and slipped it into her mouth as he cradled her close and whispered reassuring words. She was safe. Everything was ok. He was with her.

And then, as suddenly as it had come on, the panic subsided. Her breathing was easier, her heart began to calm down and the flashback was no longer the only thing her brain could focus on. She heard Deeks' voice soothing her and she knew she was ok. Her eyes flew open, and she saw the large crowd that had gathered, and we're now staring at her. Moments later someone from mall security arrived and indicated that paramedics were on the way. The crowd dissipated quickly once mall security arrived and Kensi stood up, insisting that paramedics were unnecessary. A quick flash of their badges gave legitimacy to her insistence that she was fine, and then Deeks escorted her back to the car.

The drugs Deeks had given Kensi worked to stop the flashbacks and panic attacks, but always left her exhausted. Knowing this, Deeks took her straight home and put her to bed. And then for the first time in over a month, he called Lindsey. He just didn't know what else to do. And then he began to pace.

* * *

Kensi woke up about two hours later and could hear voices coming from the kitchen. She had a headache and felt foggy, but she clearly remembered what had happened. As she sat up slowly, she pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead on them. All she could think was "crap." She was so sure she had put the worst of this behind her. Yes, there were still complications and she still had the occasional nightmare, but it hadn't affected her ability to function normally in a long time. But now, it had. She had regressed. And it pissed her off. She listened to the murmur of voices coming through the door, and figured it was time to face whoever was out there. Deeks had most likely called Nate, and both of them would want to talk to her. She didn't want to talk. She wanted to punch something. But before they would let her do that, they would insist that she had to talk. Fine. She would get it done and over with. She stood up and headed for the door, grabbing the doorframe briefly as the room swayed. Once it stopped, she continued.

Deeks was in the kitchen talking with Nate, who was trying to get him to stop pacing. Lindsey was sitting at the table with a cup of tea, but had long since given up on calming Deeks. She figured he would be ok once Kensi woke up and showed him she was fine. True to her expectations, when Kensi appeared in the kitchen, he stopped in his tracks and grabbed her in a tight hug.

"Are you ok?" he asked anxiously, looking her over.

"I'm great," she insisted, rolling her eyes. "Aside from feeling like an elephant sat on my head."

"Sorry, Kensi. I know the side effects suck," Lindsey said, making her presence known.

"Seriously?" Kensi asked. "Nate and Lindsey? It wasn't that bad, Deeks. You didn't need to call both of them."

"Actually, he just called me to see if I could get some more pills for you. Nate was with me when he called, and we figured we would stop by and say hi," Lindsey said smoothly. She didn't want to let on to either of them that she brought Nate to check Deeks' state of mind, as she had serious thoughts about sedating him when she heard him on the phone. Kensi raised an eyebrow.

"Knew it. I totally called it, Deeks, pay up. They're so together," Kensi said with glee.

"Actually, I think it was Nell who called it first while you were having your nice long nap at the hospital," Deeks retorted, sticking out his tongue for good measure. Nate knew it was time to step in.

"How are you doing, Kensi?" he asked gently, redirecting the conversation.

"I'm fine," she said firmly. "I just had... An asthma attack... Or something," she stuttered, trying to come up with something believable. Nate raised his eyebrows while Lindsey rolled her eyes.

"Kensi, it's ok. You had a flashback and a panic attack. It doesn't mean you're regressing," Lindsey said firmly. "It sounds like Marty managed it just fine, and aside from being a bit embarrassed you're no worse for wear." Deeks stared at Lindsey like she had two heads.

"She collapsed in the mall, with no obvious trigger, and you don't think that's a setback?" Deeks asked with disbelief.

"Actually, there was a trigger," Kensi whispered. looking down. "Someone walked past wearing the same cologne that he wore that night... That's what set it off."

"Smell is actually one of the scents linked most closely to memories," Nate explained. "So it's no surprise that was a trigger. And if that's the first time you've been exposed to it since the attack, I would have been more surprised if you hadn't had an attack."

"Ok, so it all makes sense, and it's all over. Am I still ok to work?" Kensi asked.

"I don't see any reason why not," Lindsey replied. "I'd like you to take it easy for the rest of the day until the drugs wear off, but otherwise you should be fine," she said. Deeks spoke up to protest though.

"Am I the only one taking this seriously? She collapsed, in a public place. She was barely breathing! Who knows what would have happened if she hadn't still had her pills in her purse. I can't... I thought I was losing her, again." Deeks was nearing panic himself. Kensi was torn between being angry at him for overreacting, and the huge weight of guilt that fell on her shoulders when she realised just how difficult this had been for him. She reached out to put her hands on his shoulders.

"Hey. I'm right here. You can't get rid of me that easily," she whispered. He looked at her, and she could see just how much pain was swimming through his eyes. Finally Nate interrupted.

"Actually, I think there's a bigger issue here. I hate to say it, but I think both of you should take a bit of time off work. And Deeks, I think you need to talk to someone. It doesn't have to be me, or Lindsey. I can recommend someone else if you like. But I'm more worried about the effects of today on you than on Kensi. And I do think it will be better for you if you both take a few days off and stay home." Deeks nodded, slowly. He had spent so much time taking care of Kensi and worrying over her safety that he had to admit he hadn't spent as much time dealing with things as he should have. Kensi looked at Nate then back to Deeks and nodded in agreement.

"I can do that. Take a few days off for us. And maybe it's time you let me take care of you for a bit," she said gently. For the first time since the earlier events of the day, Deeks managed a smile and sat down.

"Yeah. Ok. But if it's ok, I'd rather talk to you than a stranger," he said, looking over at Nate.


End file.
